


Kuzan and Cora-san’s Crusade

by Kereea



Series: ASL In Red [13]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5926456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly did Rocinante and Kuzan get up to during the year when the Straw Hearts were getting beaten up/trained by Rayleigh?</p>
<p>Well...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kuzan and Cora-san’s Crusade

Something Kuzan did _not_ want to deal with barely a week after Marinford was Donquixote Doflamingo.

Bad enough his office was still partially ripped open, bad enough the Marines were in utter disarray with numerous dead and wounded, bad enough he wasn’t sleeping as well because Roci couldn’t sleep because he was worried about Law—no, he had to deal with Roci’s asshole brother.

This was going to be just great.

Kuzan didn’t stand up when Doflamingo came in, all it would do was encourage the asshole over the six inches he had on him. It also made it very clear that Kuzan considered him not _worth_ standing up for.

“Admiral Aokiji,” the Warlord greeted, all smiles. Actually, when didn’t he smile? It was so damn creepy…asshole.

“Doflamingo,” Kuzan said. “Heard you had business with me.”

“I do,” Doflamingo said. “Urgent too, no time for niceties or checking on my brother, really need to get to the point.”

Checking in, ha. More like gloating to Roci over how Law was even more of a wanted man now. “Then get to it.”

“Well, you are, other than my darling brother, who of course I’d like to keep out of this, his feelings on the subject make him…rather fragile-”

So it was about Law. Also Doflamingo needed to stop underestimating his brother. Roci had a nasty habit of getting _mean_ when people threatened his kid.

Kuzan really hoped to see it turned on Doflamingo one day. If only for how stunned the ass would be.

Wait…was he still talking? Wow, he was. And the guy claimed he wanted to make this quick…

Kuzan interrupted him after another few seconds, “I’m not sure I catch your meaning.”

“Well, aren’t we Warlords supposed to bring in pirates now and then?” Doflamingo asked. “And surely one of the _spear headers_ of the assault of Marinford and breakout of Impel Down would be a high priority.”

“You’re saying you’re going to try to get me to help you catch Law,” Kuzan surmised. “That’s…almost adorable.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to catch a wanted man, Admiral?” Doflamingo purred.

“Are you saying you think anyone outside this office can hear a word of what’s going on?” Kuzan asked. “Like hell I wouldn’t get Roci to keep this quiet, you came in here looking to get a rise out of me.”

“ _Roci_?” Doflamingo asked.

“Your brother? Almost as tall as you, lots of scars, power over silence?” Kuzan asked. He smirked and added, “Really good in bed?”

Doflamingo went rigid, “ _Excuse me_?”

“What, you didn’t know? You’ve been working for the Government for, what eight years? Took us four to catch your spy Vergo, too. Damn near everyone in the Marines knows Roci and I are a thing,” Kuzan said. “Have been since before you were a Warlord.”

Holy shit, he’d shut up Doflamingo. He’d have to come up with some way to tell Law, the kid would love it.

…Okay maybe not _how_ he’d shut the guy up, but the fact that he _had_ needed to be shared.

Kuzan drummed his fingers on his desk as he waited for Doflamingo to recover.

“…Well, since no one can hear us, I’m going to kill you one day,” Doflamingo said.

“We’ll see. I know Law’s going to take a chunk out of you sooner or later. And those pretty little strings won’t be able to sew it back on.” He hoped someone with a camera was around when it happened.

“Well you’d better hope so, since the cold doesn’t do much to string,” Doflamingo hissed.

“Just the cold no, frozen _water_ hell yes,” Kuzan said. “Keep up with what ice _is_ , Warlord.”

The smile was a grimace now. That felt good. Was this why Roci always stomped on every anger-inducing topic his brother had? Because it felt _good_ to piss this guy off.

“Well if you won’t help me _catch an infamous and dangerous pirate_ I guess we’re done here,” Doflamingo said.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” Kuzan said before pointedly ignoring him.

After he was sure Doflamingo was gone, he got up and headed for the hole in the wall. “Still there?”

“Just fine,” Roci said, leaning against the exterior of the building and smoking a cigarette. “I’ve mentioned I hate my brother, right? Because I really hate my brother.”

Kuzan gave him a hand inside, “I’m just stunned you didn’t fall off.”

“Give me some credit, I can be careful when I want—whoa!” Roci yelped as he tripped against the low table in the back of the office and ended up facedown on the floor, cigarette flying across the room and only not setting the wall on fire because Kuzan froze it before impact. “…You saw nothing.”

“Oh I saw,” Kuzan said, helping him up.

“I cannot _believe_ you pretty much told Doffy ‘by the way, I screw your brother,’ you _idiot_ ,” Roci complained.

“Oh come on, like you don’t get your turn,” Kuzan said.

“It’s the principle of the thing!”

“Tell me you didn’t think it was funny.”

“…Okay it was hilarious, especially how he just couldn’t find words for like three minutes but…” Roci pushed his bangs out of his face. “Anyway, you really think Law can take him?”

“Given a little more time, yes,” Kuzan said. “And unlike most of the pride I’ve got for the kid, there’s nothing awkward about knowing that.”

“Agreed,” Roci said. “It would be a very nice thing to see.”

Kuzan stretched, “Well, that was a good morning’s work. Going to take a nap before lunch.”

“You worked for one hour, idiot! Get back to your desk!” Roci said.

“Oh come on, tell me dealing with your brother isn’t exhausting?”

“You’re a damn _Admiral_ , suck it up!”

.o.o.o.

“Look at those bounties,” Garp whistled.

“Law’s _doubled_ ,” Rocinante groaned.

“Awkward pride,” Kuzan chuckled, elbowing him.

“Not sure he and Luffy should be above Kid though. Neither of them is a mass murderer,” Rocinante said. “Hell, Luffy doesn’t have a death to his name and Law’s have all been in self-defense.”

“You pay attention to who your kid kills?” Garp asked.

“I _worry_ ,” Rocinante said.

“Well worry because Garp’s brat declared war on the government months ago and Law apparently thought that would be a _great_ guy to sign on with,” Sengoku said.

“And date,” Kuzan added.

“Not too sure I like that,” Garp said. “Law’s a bit old for Luffy.”

“We can’t comment. Kuzan’s got a decade on me,” Rocinante said.

“Huh. Thought you were older,” Garp said.

“You knew me when I was _ten_ ,” Rocinante pointed out. “Which was only twenty-seven years ago.”

“Math is for sneaky agents like you,” Garp said idly.

“I can get on board with that,” Kuzan said.

“Gentlemen,” Sengoku said firmly, getting their attention back on him. “This is actually a problem. We have no idea where the Straw Hat or Heart Pirates even are, and there’s rumors Silvers Rayleigh is involved.”

“Rayleigh?” Rocinante asked. “What’s he got to do with it?”

“No one knows,” Garp muttered, folding his arms with a petulant look. “There’s a reason he’s called the Dark King. But some people think it has to do with the fact that some Supernovas, including Luffy, have expressed interest in being the next Pirate King.”

“You think he’s helping with that?” Kuzan asked.

“I’m not sure,” Sengoku admitted. “The worry the Government has is that he’s around Portgas D. Ace, not Monkey D. Luffy.”

Kuzan shook his head, “Assuming Fire Fist gets back on his feet, it’s going to be a long time until he can do anything.”

“You’re acting like you think Ace will quit,” Garp said sternly.

“No, I just don’t know how debilitating his injuries will be,” Kuzan said. “We know he’s alive because Red Haired Shanks hasn’t razed Mariejois…yet.”

“Pity, I was kind of wondering how he’d go about it,” Rocinante muttered under his breath. “Would be entertaining, at least.”

“Whitebeard remnant would have done something too,” Garp said. “Phoenix is mighty attached to Ace.”

“Thank you for one more thing to worry about,” Sengoku muttered.

Rocinante noticed the bags under his father’s eyes. Was he sleeping? Probably not with the current situation. He knew the escapees from Level Six hadn’t been announced yet. He wondered why that was taking so long.

“Still…the boys are tied. Naturally Luffy’s going to pull ahead first, he’s more reckless than your boy,” Garp told Sengoku.

“And Law is smarter,” Sengoku said firmly. “More capable of doing something big _intentionally_.”

“I’d honestly rather his bounty _not_ go up any more,” Rocinante said. He was ignored.

“Please, I’d think Ace would outstrip Law before Law outstrips Luffy!” Garp said.

“Well excuse me for only having one supremely-competent-at-havoc grandchild instead of three occasional troublemakers,” Sengoku said.

“Those are fighting words,” Garp said, standing angrily.

“They are?” Kuzan yawned. Rocinante kicked him to get him to stop dozing off.

“It’d be three on one,” Sengoku said.

“I’m not getting involved in this,” Rocinante said.

“Why three on one? _I_ think Straw Hat’s going to be Pirate King, if it comes down to it,” Kuzan said.

…What.

“ _Excuse me_?” Rocinante asked.

“Nothing against Law, I just think he doesn’t care,” Kuzan said, eyes widened as he apparently got the message that he’d upset Rocinante. “He doesn’t care, his boyfriend does, so I think he’ll let Luffy have it.”

“ _Let_?” Garp demanded.

“No one is becoming Pirate King anyway!” Sengoku snapped. “…But if they did, it would be Law.”

Rocinante groaned as Sengoku and Garp resumed their grandfatherly squabbling.

.o.o.o

“Garp tried to resign.”

Kuzan looked up, Roci was in his doorway. “He what?”

Roci shut the door and quickly cast a silence sphere. “We have a problem.”

“I’ll say, if Garp the Hero wants out,” Kuzan said. “What the hell happened?”

“We’re never telling the world about the Level Six escapees,” Roci said.

“ _What_?” Kuzan demanded, shooting to his feet. “That’s insane! If we don’t tell anyone, no one is warned, we can’t put out bounties, hell, lower ranking Marines will have no damn idea who they’re facing—and I don’t need to tell you this, you already know.”

“Yep,” Roci said. “Glad the other two didn’t shoot the messenger.”

“Saved me for last?” Kuzan asked.

Roci shrugged, “If Akainu tried to kill me I could just run straight here, you wouldn’t know why, and maybe you’d do a little extra damage making him leave since you’d think he was after me for no reason.”

That was all probably true. Trust Roci to act on his dislike of the dog at any time. “You can really be a manipulative jackass sometimes.”

“ _Spy_ ,” Roci said, pointing at himself. “But, yeah, Akainu’s pissed off, going by the heatwave that hit as soon as I told him. Kizaru just shrugged and said okay then.”

“Does that guy care about anything?” Kuzan wondered.

“No. Next?” Roci asked.

“Why hush it up? To not look as incompetent with the breakout?”

Roci laughed, “To deny the whole breakout.”

“They…they…” Kuzan was going to have some sort of stress overload at this rate. “The _entire_ breakout is being denied? So, what, Law and Luffy just…magically showed up at Marinford with backup? Buggy the Clown was… _let_ out of prison to be a Warlord? Crocodile _didn’t_ escape?”

“Looks like it,” Roci said.

“This is ridiculous,” Kuzan said. “We’re already practically at war with the Red Hair Pirates, if we could ever figure out where they are going to be next-”

“You won’t, Shanks is a creature of impulse,” Roci said.

“And the Whitebeard Pirates. Phoenix has launched some serious raids in retribution.”

He wasn’t sure how much was for killing Whitebeard, for making Blackbeard a Warlord however briefly, or for announcing Marco’s boyfriend’s birth surname to the world, thus making Ace a huge target for Marines and pirates alike.

“And we don’t know what Rayleigh wants at all,” Roci added.

Kuzan robbed his temples, “I need a nap.”

“I’ll join you. Anything to not deal with this for a bit,” Roci said, sighing.

No admonition to get back to work? Things _had_ to be bad.

.o.o.o.

Rocinante smiled as Kuzan set a cup of coffee down for him. “Thank you.”

He’d been sent to deal with some issue involving Cipher Pol causing trouble—further proof Marine spies were much better than those weird emotion-killed assassins any day—because someone had kicked out a whole unit and he wasn’t supposed to be able to do that and people were noticing something was up as the ex-CP-9 tried to get their revenge and Cipher Pol tried to quietly rehire them and _why did people do stupid things_?

Essentially he was supposed to make sure no one outside the government noticed as Cipher Pol worked on re-recruiting them. In practice, they’d thought he was another assassin for a bit and he’d nearly been eaten by a guy who’d turned into a leopard.

Stupid paranoid assassins.

“So how was your month?” he asked Kuzan.

“I wasn’t almost eaten,” Kuzan offered.

“Lucky you.”

“Got to fight a division of Whitebeard Pirates. Vista’s gotten faster,” Kuzan said.

“Where’d you run into them?” Rocinante asked.

“Off Waterfall Island.”

“I’m still not sure how it’s an _island_ as opposed to a series of giant waterfalls falling from big spikes of coral,” Rocinante said.

“Waterfall Island is faster to say than ‘unusual amount of waterfalls coming from an odd coral thing’ that’s why,” Kuzan said.

“Why were they there?”

“Party. You know, that thing less-evil pirates do a lot,” Kuzan said.

“…Think the Straw Hats have managed to make Law party?”

Kuzan laughed, “Maybe after I get to freeze over hell, Roci.”

“I hope leopard boy had his shots,” Rocinante muttered, running his shoulder.

“That’s one of the best assassins in all of Cipher Pol you’re whining about,” Sengoku said as he strode in.

Rocinante gave his father an annoyed look, “Then one of the best assassins in all of Cipher Pol _better have had his shots_.”

“He’s in a bad mood,” Kuzan elaborated.

“Well, that’s not the best time to have to do this, then,” Sengoku said.

Rocinante sighed, “What now?”

“I’m stepping down,” Sengoku said. Rocinante suddenly felt wide awake. “I…I cannot serve anymore. Not just the failure but…the Government’s actions…covering the escape…”

“Why are you telling us this?” Kuzan asked.

“I am telling you, Aokiji, because I must ask something dreadful of you,” Sengoku said. “Be my replacement.”

“Boss, I…I don’t agree with them either,” Kuzan said. “And I’m not a leader, not like that!”

Rocinante honestly had to agree. He loved Kuzan, but the man was lazy to a very severe fault and frankly wouldn’t give enough of a shit about all the little things the Fleet Admiral had to care about all at once to keep them all functioning. Worse, even if he did manage to muster the energy to care…well, he sucked at administration and there was a steep learning curve to finding good help with that kind of thing.

But that wasn’t the only thing.

“You’re asking us to stay while you leave?” Rocinante asked his father, wide-eyed.

“I’m taking an administrative position, not leaving,” Sengoku said. “Admiral Aokiji, I ask this of you because you don’t want it, because you don’t agree. We need someone who will do what is _right_. Even I have failed at that. We need a just bird, not a mad dog.”

“Akainu?” Rocinante asked. “What’s the idiot got to do with this?”

“The World Government opposes my nomination of Aokiji to my position. They want Akainu.”

“I’ll do it,” Kuzan said instantly. “That guy should not have that power.”

“The hell do they want him for?” Rocinante demanded. Fuck it, never mind, Kuzan _should_ be in charge!

“Aggression. I don’t know much more,” Sengoku said. “Five Elder Stars want more aggression than ever. I suggested to Kong that Aokiji get the title, but…”

“I’ll do it,” Kuzan said. “I’ll become Fleet Admiral.”

.o.o.o.

“You don’t have to do this,” Sakazuki said.

“Neither do you,” Kuzan replied.

“All right, let’s have a good clean death match!” Borsalino said. Kuzan resisted the urge to smack him. “Gentlemen, hand your coats off to your friends and let’s go.”

Kuzan passed his Admiral’s coat to Rocinante, “If he kills me, get the hell out of dodge. You know he hates your guts.”

“If he kills you we’ll need a new Fleet Admiral within twenty-four hours,” Rocinante replied.

“Or really now?” Kuzan asked.

Rocinante smiled, “I won’t give away the surprise.”

Shit, Rocinante must have been really pissed off. He almost reminded Kuzan of Doflamingo for a second there. “Yeah, well after that…go find Law. Give him my regards.”

“Of course.”

Rocinante and Onigumo walked over to Borsalino, who grabbed them.

“And…begin!” the only remaining Admiral declared, vanishing with the other men in a flash of light to a waiting ship.

“You heard the man,” Kuzan said, drawing his ice spikes. “A nice clean death match.”

.o.o.o.

Kuzan knew he was fucked when his leg was gone. Something was wrong; he could put ice there, but not change it back into flesh…

Ten days. Ten damn days fighting this asshole only to lose.

He hoped Roci’s surprise for the guy was a good one. He wished he could see it.

“Can’t keep going, can you?” Sakazuki asked, barely keeping upright himself.

“If you think you can get a killing blow in, by all means try,” Kuzan said. At least he could die happy, knowing Sakazuki would follow shortly.

“No. I’m not going to kill you.”

“Sure you should let up? For all you know I’m feinting,” Kuzan said. He tried to see if he could gather enough energy to make that true, Sakazuki seemed off-guard enough…and no, _shit_. He was dead in the water.

“You’re too valuable to kill,” Sakazuki said. “I may disagree with your form of justice, but you are still able to be a force for justice nonetheless.”

“You think I’ll work under you?” Kuzan laughed. “Funny guy. Thought the monkey was the joker but no, dog’s got a sense of humor after all!”

“And the pheasant has a death wish,” Sakazuki snorted as Kuzan’s world went black.

.o.o.o.

“It’s over,” Smoker announced, looking through the binoculars. “…Sakazuki won.”

Rocinante’s fist clenched. Fine then. Sakazuki would be exhausted now, and as soon as he was asleep Rocinante could easily assassinate him. A single seastone bullet through the skull was all it would take…true, Rocinante had a hard time making them as the gloves he needed to handle seastone only increased his clumsiness, but he’d had _ten damn days_ so he had a full chamber of the things by now.

The real trick would be keeping himself appraised of where they guy went to lie down…

“Don’t know if Kuzan’s dead though…” Smoker muttered, confusing Rocinante. “Sakazuki’s flagging us…wants Admiral Kizaru and Captain Donquixote.”

“Well then, let’s not keep them waiting,” Kizaru said, grabbing Rocinante and teleporting them to the smoking landscape. “You two did a number on this place, Fleet Admiral.”

“Take Kuzan to a hospital,” Sakazuki said. “And fill out his and Donquixote’s discharge papers.”

“ _My_ discharge papers?” Rocinante asked.

“Like hell I’m keeping you onboard without Kuzan to keep an eye on you. Sengoku may have tolerated the brother and father of major criminals in the Marines but I won’t,” Sakazuki said.

“Oh, shall we discharge Garp next?” Rocinante asked, crouching down to pick Kuzan up. His eyes narrowed at the missing leg. “Father of Dragon the Revolutionary, Grandfather of Straw Hat Luffy, Fire Fist Ace, and Gentleman Sabo?”

“Garp captured the Pirate King. All you did was raise one of his potential successors,” Sakazuki sneered. “Kizaru, get them out of my sight.”

Rocinante chuckled as they left. So Sakazuki was scared of him after all. Oh well, it worked out just fine. The idiot had just discharged an intelligence officer with plenty of secrets to sell and the willingness to do so.

Kuzan may not have died, but that didn’t mean Rocinante wouldn’t be making Sakazuki’s job hell in any way he could.

.o.o.o.

“…Why am I alive?”

“Sakazuki let you live. The mad dog has a soul after all.”

Ooh, Roci sounded bitter. Never a good thing. “Let me live with my humiliation?”

“With an honorable discharge. Shocked he gave me one too, instead of a fist of magma to the skull,” Roci said.

“What are you doing here? You _hate_ hospitals,” Kuzan asked.

“Well I don’t trust your guard.”

“I’m not sure what he thinks he could do to me, really. Shut up my jokes?”

Oh hell no. Borsalino. “Here to rub it in?”

“Here to say goodbye. We were colleagues for years, after all.” And the man was smiling. Of course he was.

“Stop acting like any of us liked each other,” Kuzan grumbled, forcing himself to sit up. Roci ended up having to help but screw it, he was not facing this asshole lying down.

“Oh, I know,” Borsalino said, shrugging. “You and Sakazuki hated each other’s guts and both of you thought I was an utter idiot unworthy of your time.”

Rocinante rolled his eyes, “Well, you could have tried _not_ acting like an idiot.”

“You’re one to talk,” Borsalino said. “Tell me, Kuzan, why did you hate my humor but seem to find _his_ bearable?”

“Roci’s not an ass, you ass,” Kuzan said.

“Well forgive me for trying to inject a little levity while you and Sakazuki always got on your high horses about your preferred sort of justice,” Borsalino said. “Him with his absolutes and you with your laziness…”

“Says the man who doesn’t even have a moral code of his own,” Kuzan shot back. “You follow the letter of the law, no more no less, because it’s all that will ever be asked of you, not because you believe in any it.”

“To say nothing of often endangering civilians for matters as trivial as _forgetting to aim_ ,” Rocinante said. “I may be a ditz now and then and a klutz even more but I don’t nearly kill innocents with it!”

“Nearly being the operative word,” Borsalino said. “Besides, sometimes if you put the right people in danger, you often get a better shot at the real target. It’s how I took out Fisher Tiger.”

“You are everything that is wrong with the Marines,” Rocinante said.

“Please, don’t you start moralizing now too. You’re dating a man who killed one of his best friends on ‘just orders’ after all,” Borsalino said.

“ _Get_. _Out_ ,” Kuzan said.

“You might need a guard, Kuzan. You’ll be in recovery for at least another week,” Borsalino said.

“Out,” Kuzan repeated.

Borsalino shrugged and left.

“How long did you put up with that, anyway?” Kuzan asked.

“Three days straight,” Rocinante said. “ _Calm_. So if I maybe lapse into fantasies of punching that one, you know why.”

“He’s an asshole. I like Sakazuki better and I was just in a death match where he ripped my leg off.”

“Sakazuki’s worse. Mark my words,” Rocinante said.

“Of I know he’s worse, I just would still rather be around him than Borsalino.”

“To each his own…”

“So I take it me being alive means you didn’t bump off Sakazuki?”

“Correct. The Marines are in chaos right now. He’s moving headquarters to the other side of the Red Line.”

“He wants a presence in the New World,” Kuzan surmised.

“Right.”

Kuzan frowned, “He’ll be serious, then. Sakazuki’s not one for optics. He’s going to do something with it.”

“He wants the Worst Generation,” Roci said.

“The _who_?” Kuzan asked.

“New term for lumping the Supernovas with Blackbeard now that he’s been rumored to be gunning for Whitebeard’s old position.”

“Yeah, the Phoenix is _really_ going to let him do that,” Kuzan said, rolling his eyes.

“Quite a few people watching this have underestimated Phoenix Marco,” Roci agreed. “I looked into him more after Marinford…he’s got a shot at bringing Teach down, certainly. Him, the other three Emperors…honestly a good shooter, Blackbeard’s power makes it damn hard for him to dodge so seastone bullets would take him out in a second…Mihawk would work really well, actually, assuming they could get him to give a shit…”

“It’s Mihawk. It’s not happening unless he feels like it,” Kuzan said.

“Mm-hm,” Roci said. “…Wonder when they’ll admit the Warlords system is broken as hell? Hancock outright helped Law and Luffy out at Marinford, for crying out loud, but they’re scared to lose her. Mihawk got bored and left the fight. My brother needs no explanation.”

“They hired the _clown_ ,” Kuzan added.

“Okay, but a least he’s funny,” Roci said. “And not causing trouble.”

“True enough.” He rubbed his head, trying to stay awake.

Roci smiled, “Get some rest, you look like you’re going to pass out. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

.o.o.o.

“How long do they think he’ll be in here?” Tashigi asked.

Rocinante was glad Smoker and Tashigi had volunteered as the guards in place of Kizaru. They were so much more tolerable! “Probably another few days.”

“Nobody’s seen Sakazuki yet either,” Smoker said, chewing his cigar. The hospital staff hadn’t let him light it. “They must have done real numbers on each other…”

“I’ll say…” Tashigi said, glancing at Kuzan’s bandages. “I can’t believe Sakazuki kicked you out!”

“Well, I would have quit if Kuzan did, principle of the matter,” Rocinante said. “But apparently I can’t be trusted without him keeping an eye on me.”

“Well you are a spy…”

“Hey Sleeping Beauty,” Smoker teased. Rocinante kicked him.

“You the new guards?” Kuzan asked.

“Yep. It’s Smoker’s vacation before assuming Vice Admiral duties,” Rocinante said.

“Hey, good for you,” Kuzan said. “Overdue, if you ask me.”

Smoker shrugged, “If you say so.”

“I think he’s trying to act cool,” Rocinante teased. Tashigi snickered.

They spent time discussing the current state of things, and eventually conversation turned to Kuzan and Rocinante’s plans.

“Will your brother be a problem?” Tashigi asked.

“That’s what I’m for,” Kuzan said before Rocinante could answer.

“How that guy’s still a Warlord…heard rumors he’s doing business with _Kaido_ of all people…” Smoker muttered.

“They’re only rumors…but still,” Tashigi admitted.

“Warlords, can’t live with them, top brass won’t get rid of them,” Rocinante sighed. “Still, surprised someone who _took over a nation_ got the job. That’s what got Croc kicked out.”

“Bet he’s blackmailing someone real important,” Smoker huffed.

“…Smoker, repeat that,” Rocinante said.

“I said I bet on blackmail or something,” Smoker said.

“You okay, Rocinante?” Tashigi asked.

“That utter asshole…” Rocinante chuckled darkly. “I think I know what it is too! Smoker, I need a favor.”

“What is it?” Smoker asked warily.

“After we leave, go see Sakazuki. I’ve got a message for the new Fleet Admiral and the Elder Stars,” Rocinante said. “A reminder: I grew up where my brother did, I know what he knows, and I can spill anything he can.”

“So if they give into his blackmail you’ll spill it anyway?” Tashigi asked.

“Maybe. Just something to keep in mind,” Rocinante said.

“Huh. Really want to make the dog hurt for cutting you loose then?” Kuzan said.

“I’d make him hurt either way,” Rocinante said. “He’s going to run the Marines into the ground.”

And even if he didn’t know what his brother did, he was going to find out.

.o.o.o.

Making a leg out of ice was frankly easier than he’d thought it would be. Sure the knee was tricky, but he got it under control soon enough.

Roci had booked a room in a hotel on the same island as the hospital for them to use for a little while.

“Nice room,” Kuzan said.

“You save up a lot when you don’t pay rent,” Roci said.

“So that’s why you moved into my apartment when you were at headquarters.”

“Not really. I’m pretty good at bumming rooms off people,” Roci said. “That or on long term missions.”

“Not like I’m not as bad,” Kuzan admitted. He’d been a wanderer before the Marines, keeping more than he could carry had never really been something he’d been able to manage to wrap his head around. Sure enough, a large bag was in the corner and he could see a few of his possessions in it—Smoker or Tashigi must have brought it.

“So…now what?” Roci asked.

“Well, we could try to get a hold of Law,” Kuzan suggested. “You know, since we don’t need to arrest him anymore.”

“Except the Heart Pirates haven’t been seen since Marinford, same as the Straw Hats. There are the reports from when they turned up on Sabaody for a bit but then the trail goes cold,” Roci said.

“Right, forgot you were an intelligence officer for a moment. Of course you’d looked for Law,” Kuzan said.

“I’m sure we’ll hear from him eventually,” Roci said. “Or at least Straw Hat Luffy. Like that kid could lay low for long.”

“True enough,” Kuzan said. “So now what?”

“Go to bed. I’m fucking _tired_ ,” Roci said.

“Been a long few months,” Kuzan agreed, chuckling slightly as Roci flopped face down on the bed. “Things are going to explode at this rate.”

“Nah. They’ll explode when someone finds One Piece,” Roci mumbled into the blanket. “Government will keep things quiet for as long as they can. They’re stallers. Sakazuki can try to fight in the New World as hard as he wants, but it can’t be anything big enough to reach the Blues.”

“Oh really?” Kuzan asked. He realized that their not being in the Marines anymore meant Roci could spill just about anything to him now. He wondered if that had even crossed Sakazuki’s mind or if he’d just been eager to get rid of Roci and had damned the consequences.

“Government runs on keeping as many people out of as many loops as they can,” Roci agreed. “But the Straw Hats and Hearts together have Nico Robin, who can read Poneglyphs, Cyborg Franky who once held the blueprints for the superweapon Pluton-”

“Trafalgar D. Water Law who has the power of the Op-Op Fruit that a bunch of people think they could take over the world with,” Kuzan added. “Including presumably your brother.”

“Mm-hm,” Roci agreed.

“...Well, shit,” Kuzan said, sitting down. “You have any plans?”

“Making Sakazuki miserable and returning to my life goal of stopping my brother.”

“Sounds doable,” Kuzan agreed. “Check in on Law?”

“I don’t know, how do young adults react when their parents try to check in on them?” Roci asked, turning so he could sit up. “I mean, I _worked_ for Sengoku; that was different…”

Kuzan frowned. “We need to meet more people with parents.”

“Good point,” Roci admitted. “Let’s just…let’s just get some sleep and come up with what to do in the morning.”

“Yeah…you, going to be all right with that?” Kuzan asked.

“With sleep? I said I’m tired, didn’t I?” Rocinante asked.

“With this,” Kuzan said, knocking against his prosthetic.

“Well I’d assume you wouldn’t put ice in the bed…you know, since I’m too tired to try anything kinky tonight,” Roci said, shrugging.

“I mean with what happens when I get rid of the ice,” Kuzan said.

Roci started at him blnkly before sighing and standing, “Oh _drown me_ , who said you got to be the drama queen all the sudden, that’s my job.”

He grabbed Kuzan by the collar, “I do not care about that. I do not care about the burn scars. I have been covered in scars _since I met you_. Idiot. Now you are going to get in that bed and we are going to have sex and forget the world is a shitty place. Agreed?”

Kuzan chuckled, “Now who can argue with that?”

.o.o.o.

Rocinante had started on a post-sex cigarette when Kuzan rejoined the waking world, “Good, I take it?”

“Like you ever aren’t,” Kuzan replied. “Hey, Roci?”

“Yes?”

“Did you ever think you were going to end up where you have?”

“Hmm…kicked out of the Marines, sleeping with an ex-Admiral, my son one of the most infamous pirates of his generation, and alive past the age of eight. Nope, never.”

“You really thought you’d die at eight?” Kuzan asked.

“I thought I’d die well before Doffy shot our father, and was sure of it after he did. Sengoku taking me in was a minor miracle,” Rocinante said. “Law surviving was another. And everything else was completely unexpected.”

“Hmm,” Kuzan hummed, folding his arms behind his head. “Guess I’d never have guessed any of that either. Especially the ‘sleeping with an ex Celestial Dragon’ thing.”

“You _really_ should keep that part down. A lot of people hate them for good reason,” Rocinante said. He was amazed the three people he’d told had taken it well. Sengoku hadn’t cared, Kuzan had been confused initially but found a way to deal and Law…Rocinante wasn’t sure what mental contortions his son had put himself through when Rocinante told him—mostly just so Doffy could never bring it up at a bad time—but he seemed to have decided it didn’t matter. Or Rocinante didn’t count. “ _Calm_. Fine, now go.”

“So what is it you know that you think your brother’s using to stay in power?” Kuzan asked.

“I was sort of bluffing,” Rocinante admitted. “There’s plenty of things I know about Mariejois and the Celestial Dragons from before I was six…but I don’t know what he’s using.”

“Well, what’s the biggest thing?” Kuzan asked, idly freezing one of Rocinante’s smoke rings and catching it as it dropped.

Rocinante sighed, “That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s more important than what else. I was six, give me a break.”

“Okay…what about…what they’d want the world to know the least?”

Rocinante laughed, “That they’re as human as any other human. But that’s not _exactly_ a secret is it, just blasphemy.”

“Oh trust me I remember,” Kuzan groused. “That’s one thing I won’t miss from being an admiral, doing whatever their whiny asses want. No wonder your folks wanted to leave, they’re annoying as hell.”

“Really now?” Rocinante asked.

“One of them had me ice over an island because no one would sell them mangos. There were no fucking mangos on the island!” Kuzan said. “Sengoku didn’t send me on Celestial Missions for over a year after that, probably thought I’d snap…probably was right.”

“As a spy, let me tell you people think in some very weird ways sometimes,” Rocinante said. “Trust me, to themselves they are entirely reasonable.”

“Really now?” Kuzan asked.

“Strange as it seems, yes. My brother’s the same way,” Rocinante said. “You know what gets me, though?”

“What?”

“Doffy and I somehow grew up to be perfectly capable, even feared, combatants, and yet everyone else I’ve ever seen come out of Mariejois would go down to a rowdy teenage civilian at the _most_ ,” Rocinante said.

“What are you saying? Your family got _all_ the combat genes?”

“I’m saying how has no one wiped them the fuck out by now?” Rocinante asked. “I think the only reason is no one’s tried! I could probably sneak in and assassinate half the place myself before anyone knew what was going on.”

“…Maybe that’s the secret. They’re wimps anyone else could take out easy and rob,” Kuzan decided. “Look at what Fisher Tiger did. _One_ Fishman, broke right on in, freed a metric ton of slaves, and waltzed on out while blowing bits of the place up.”

“…Okay if the secret is just that their defenses suck, I’m going to be so disappointed,” Rocinante admitted. “I want something earth-shattering, damn it. They let my brother be a _Warlord_ over this!”

“There’s definitely a lot going on we’re not seeing,” Kuzan agreed. “Or at least not _yet_?”

“Oh, there’s a definite yet,” Rocinante agreed. “Someone’s going to find One Piece eventually. And something tells me that’s going to start one hell of a tumble.”

.o.o.o.

They stayed in the hotel for a few days. It was nice to just relax and pretend the world wasn’t possibly going to go to utter shit—or even more utter shit—in short order.

It almost reminded Kuzan of the days back in North Blue. The need to be somewhere else felt so distant, and he half expected a young teen Law to tromp in and whine about being bored.

But eventually they had to leave, “Where to?” Roci asked.

“Eh. Nowhere in particular,” Kuzan shrugged as he adjusted the panel on the back of his bike to allow Roci to sit. “You have a plan?”

“Yeah, but no rush.”

“Well let’s hear it,” Kuzan said.

“I want to go see Dr. Vegapunk. I have some questions,” Roci said. “No rush.”

“Dare I even ask?” Kuzan chuckled as he checked his log pose.

“I want to know about the Pacifista,” Rocinante said. “I have some gaps in what I know about them to fill in.”

“And he’ll just talk to you?” Kuzan asked.

“Well…if he doesn’t I’ll just break in later and take what I need,” Rocinante asked.

“What the heck do you need to know?” Kuzan asked.

“If my guesses are right and they’re not going to be enough to really take on New World pirates,” Rocinante said. “And I think he’s making new ones.”

Kuzan started peddling, “And what makes you think that?”

“Reports, mostly. Sounds like people are already figuring out their weaknesses.” Rocinante grinned. “And just think how many people would like a warning…”

“Sakazuki is going to want you _dead_ ,” Kuzan chuckled.

.o.o.o.

They’d been away from the Marines for six months and Roci had been busy. Kuzan didn’t mind, something to do. Vegapunk thankfully hadn’t need robbing, but some other places had needed a bit of sneaking or freezing to get what he wanted.

Turned out, high ranking spies knew a lot of things in a lot of different places. Most they’d hung onto, but one had been very useful.

Roci knew by heart the basic weaknesses of the seastone-bottomed ships and had given a few to Boa Hancock in exchange for the transponder number for the _Thousand Sunny_.

Hancock had been wary at first, but Roci’s status as Law’s father and the fact that he was offering information that could protect her island had swayed her in the end. Now they were waiting near the Red Line for the Heart and Straw Hat Pirates to come see them.

Roci was jittery. Of course he was. He’d finally get to see his son in the flesh and _not_ on a battlefield.

“I heard you wanted to see me?”

Kuzan turned with Roci and—holy shit, Law had either become pals with a tattoo artist since they’d last seen each other or the kid had been hiding a lot under his old hoodie.

But he looked…better, somehow. Or maybe that was because he wasn’t panicking this time, afraid Kuzan would lock him up for life. Law had a new hoodie, still yellow and black but sleeveless and unzipped in the front, showing off his rather impressive tattoo collection and the old, pale scars underneath the ink.

“Law,” Roci smiled. “I missed you.”

Law looked a bit wary, but he did smile back. “Missed you too. Heard rumors Kuzan lost a fight to Sakazuki over the top job…was worried about you, Ice.”

“Well, I’m down a leg and up a lot of burn scars, but I’ll manage,” Kuzan said, grinning back at the kid. “Heard _you’re_ up a boyfriend.”

Oh, the _look_ on Law’s face.

“Oh right...you know about that.”

“Law, he yelled it for everyone at Marinford to hear several times,” Roci snickered. “To say nothing of that phone call.”

“Straw Hat’s always been a loudmouth,” Kuzan agreed.

“Oh my god,” Law muttered, putting his head in his hands. “You _know_ about that…”

“Law, come on, we won’t embarrass you,” Roci said.

“Much,” Kuzan added smugly, earning a glare from Law.

“Hey, Traffy, you found them!”

“Kill me now,” Law muttered as the ever-energetic Monkey D. Luffy ran over, not so much stopping as using his impact with Law’s side to halt himself and wrap his arms around Law at the same time.

“Hi, nice to see you again when we’re not fighting,” Luffy said to Kuzan. “And nice to meet you in person, Traffy’s dad!”

“Get off!” Law said, trying to shove Luffy away. The rubber man let go with a pout. Law sighed and tossed an arm around his shoulders, which had Luffy beaming again and Law red as a rose. All in about three seconds.

Kuzan was ready to admit Law was in a very odd relationship.

“Nice to meet you as well, Straw Hat Luffy,” Roci said.

“Just Luffy’s fine,” Luffy said. “So what’d you want to meet for?”

Roci grinned, “Well, you lot just got to the New World so naturally you need to make names for yourselves.”

“Eh, that just kind of happens with my crew. Traffy, yours like that?” Luffy asked

“Little more planning involved,” Law said.

“So what’s your idea then?” Luffy asked.

“Toppling a warlord with one hell of a bang,” Roci said. “You interested?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Roci got into a fight with some members of CP9. Thankfully Rob Lucci wasn't trying to eat him, just maul him, and quickly realized he obviously wasn't a Cipher Pol agent (too genuinely klutzy). It's my headcanon that Marine spies and CP agents have kind fo a rivalry, thus Roci's snark. 
> 
> Roci has a very low opinion of Sakazuki and Borsalino, and honestly I can see both Sakazuki and Kuzan getting fed up with Borsalino very, very fast. Likewise Sakazuki sees Roci as more criminal than anything else and hates him because he blames him for Law's existence.
> 
> Doflamingo did not know about Roci and Kuzan. In this universe, Roci caught Vergo four years after leaving the Donquixote Pirates behind, so he didn't have access to the gossip that would tell him, and Roci sure wasn't going to. 
> 
> As for Roci's temper, well...remember. This is the guy who burnt down hospitals for making Law cry. Of course he'd consider offing Sakazuki for hypothetically killing Kuzan.


End file.
